What’s the Hardest Part About Being LGBTQ+?

Being LGBTQ+ means you’re not part of the default setting. You’re constantly navigating a world built on heteronormativity — and even when people say they’re open-minded, the truth is often more complicated.

You're Accepted… Just Not in Your Own Family

I've noticed a painful double standard: a lot of people say, “I’m fine with gay people — just not my own kid.” I met someone in Thailand whose parents were exactly like that. They claimed to support LGBTQ+ rights, but when she came out, they kicked her out. She had to leave home, move to Bangkok, and take on part-time jobs while trying to learn English — just to survive.

That stuck with me. It shows how deep heteronormativity runs. It’s not about waving a rainbow flag once a year. It’s about what you do when someone you love is different from what you expected.

Finding Queer Community Takes Work

Even in open societies, being queer often means feeling like you're on the outside looking in. I had to actively seek out queer spaces — which is why I’m so grateful for the Glasgow Lesbian Scene Meetup Group. Despite the name, it welcomes bisexual, pansexual, and queer women of all kinds.

There are just some things I *can’t* talk about with my straight friends — not because they’re unkind, but because they haven’t lived it. With my queer friends, I don’t have to explain. They say: “I get it. You’re not alone. Your pain is valid.” And that makes all the difference.

Queer Dating Is Complicated — In Small Towns and Big Cities

If you live in a remote place, the queer dating pool can feel microscopic. Cue the Little Britain joke: "I'm the only gay in the village." And if you’re not the only one, it might still feel like it — because you can’t find anyone to connect with, let alone date.

But big cities aren’t always better. In huge cities, people sometimes treat dating like a buffet. So many choices, so little accountability. In a mid-sized city like Glasgow, you’ll probably know your ex’s new partner’s best friend — which can get... awkward.

That said, I’ve also seen what happens when queer community works. People are mature. They don’t gossip. They’re gracious with each other’s pasts. Unfortunately, not every city’s like that. Sometimes queer dating looks more like walking into a burning room with pizza in hand.

We’re Still Fighting Just to Exist

It’s not just about awkward exes or missing community. Being LGBTQ+ is still a political identity — whether we like it or not.

In the U.S., anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is increasing. Trans rights are under attack. Queer books are being banned from schools. In the UK, a recent ruling declared that a person’s legal gender is the one they were assigned at birth. That ruling invalidates so many of our trans siblings — and we do not support it.

Having your identity legally erased is a cruelty that none of us should accept. We must fight for each other — not just ourselves.

We Can’t Afford to Only Care About Ourselves

We benefit from the work of those who came before us. There was a time when queer folks couldn’t hold hands in public. Couldn’t kiss their partner without risking arrest. Couldn’t even say they were gay.

Now, we have dating events. We have Pride. We have community. But none of that is guaranteed to last. Rights can be taken away. Visibility can turn into a target. So we have to show up — especially for the most vulnerable in our community.

And Yet... We Still Choose Love

Despite all of this — the isolation, the politics, the awkward dates — I believe in love. I believe in the power of finding someone who gets you. Who sees you. Who celebrates you.

That’s why I started Our Rainbow Hearts. That’s why I host queer dating events. Because even in a world that tells us we’re too much or not enough — we still deserve to write love stories that feel like ours.

Want to Connect? Join Us in Glasgow

Dating is hard. But you don’t have to do it alone.

Next Event: Thursday 7th August 2025
Location: Sent after ticket booking
Reserve your spot: Click here to book